When you send flowers to a funeral or to the surviving family, they send a powerful message of sympathy. In fact, specific flowers have always symbolized what's sometimes so hard to say: love, respect, and sympathy. What's more, the color and scent of flowers can add beauty and warmth to a somber occasion.

• White lilies symbolize sympathy, warmth and purity. Christian folklore believes the lily represents resurrection
• Carnations are a symbol of undying love. Red carnations stand for admiration; pink for remembrance; and white for pure love and innocence
• Tulips represent elegance and grace; the red tulip represents perfect love
• Chrysanthemums symbolize truth
• White roses evoke humility, innocence and youthfulness; red roses convey love and respect; and pink roses symbolize courage, love and grace
• The daisy symbolizes innocence and loyal love, for example, and would be a lovely choice for a spouse who had been part of a long and loving marriage
• Apple blossoms symbolize adventure, perseverance and hope
• Pineapples represent hospitality

If you do choose flowers with symbolism, make sure that at some point in the service you communicate why you chose them.

If you were a co-worker of the honoree or part of an organization they belonged to, you may want to organize a group of people to pool their resources for a more costly arrangement. These flower arrangements can have an even greater impact. Senders can be identified as a group: "The Elks Club", "Woodland Garden Club", "4th Floor RN's". A card can later be signed by each individual and sent to the family.

How much should you spend on flowers?

According to Peggy Post, director and spokesperson for The Emily Post® Institute, there is no magic number which is considered appropriate. She suggests you get a feel for what is customary in your area, consider how well you know the family or honoree and be practical - think about your budget when ordering a flower arrangement. That said, after doing some research she found the average amount spent on flowers or donations is about $50.

What to Send

Sympathy floral baskets and living plants
These are the most popular floral sympathy gift. You can choose any type of plant to reflect the personality of the honoree. And you can send it to the family's home or workplace or even to the funeral home.

Floral wreaths, crosses, and sprays
These formal tributes are a traditional gift to send to the funeral home. Because they are very time-consuming to make, they can also be very expensive. Groups, companies or associations often join together to send these elaborate displays to honor them.

Floral tributes
These personalized designs feature the honoree's occupation, clubs, hobbies, or even personality quirks. Good friends and/or family members may order a music themed floral tribute if the honoree loved music, featuring mini musical instruments throughout. Or a set of mini golf balls for the golf enthusiast.

Casket arrangements
When a funeral service includes a casket, a casket arrangement will be needed to drape the top of the casket. A direct family member of the honoree usually selects the casket arrangement, keeping in mind the honoree's favorite flowers or colors.

Lid sprays, often of roses or calla lilies, cover the unopened section of the casket at an open-coffin funeral. They will also cover the entire casket once it's closed.

When to Send

Sympathy flowers are usually sent to the funeral service or to the family's home in time for the visitation or the funeral. But there are no hard rules regarding timing. Flowers will especially be appreciated after the funeral, reminding the family you are still thinking of them.

"In Lieu of Flowers"

A death notice or obituary may include the expressions "in lieu of flowers, please send donations to (CHARITY NAME)" or "family and friends are making contributions to..." Though these phrases encourage charitable gifts, they do not mean other expressions of sympathy are not appropriate. You can choose to send flowers and make a charitable contribution. Or, if you only want to do one, follow the family's wishes and contribute.

Click here to read more about making donations.